Ask an Atheist with Sam Mulvey

Jesucristo–Robot del Futuro

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Occasionally listeners will ask about Spanish-language resources.  I do a certain amount of dabbling in atheist and skeptic-related internet material in Spanish, from keeping up with Hispanic American Freethinkers or perusing thought-provoking articles on Escéptica.  But occasionally little art/entertainment gems catch my eye, such as Spain-based parody rapper Zorman‘s Jesus Christ: Robot from the Future!

Zorman is a 24-year old Spaniard whose facility with media production has extended beyond the realm of his videogame design training.  His original videos typify and lovingly mock social subcultures of Spain and beyond ranging from los góticos (goths) to los pijos (preppy/posh folk).  He takes a swing at caricatures of what one can only assume are his videogame tech bretheren in his videos Me gustan los videojuegos and as alter-persona Lucas Skywalker in Soy friki (I’m a nerd).  He skewers blind allegiance to sports teams in Soy del Madrid‘s triumphant anthem, and stretches to channel Weird-Al in Soy Reggaeton.

But the crowning hilarity for Spanish-speaking atheists (or at least those who disbelieve Christian god mythology) is Jesucristo: Robot del Futuro.  The video begins with a curious child asking his father what he can believe in and launches into a jaunty melody straight from 1984 (the year, not the book) with a tale echoing 2001 (the film, not the year).  What unfolds is the miracle of the true Jesus Christ–who happens to be a robot from the future.  I suddenly enter a wacky dreamstate where Devo is singing in Spanish about Futurama’s Robot Santa, and I’m channeling Uncle Albert in Mary Poppins.

Who else can resurrect your dead childhood pet, shoot you with a proton ray for having safe sex, and transform abusive fathers into turtles?  JE! SU! CRIS! TO!  You can’t help but begin to cheer with the refrain.

Sam looks at me with slightly incredulous eyes, and it’s at this point I remember he doesn’t understand Spanish.  It’s hilarious, I swear!  I mean, Zorman gets “proton ray” and “sex without a condom” to rhyme!   When Zorman’s child character fearfully claims that Jesus Christ says such strange things, Jesus wins him over through rapping the Lord’s Prayer.  (Apparently, this is a real thing). Jesus is a rapping robot from the year 10,000.  And he speaks Spanish.  I’m in adolescent headspace heaven.

Luckily I haven’t been turned into a lamp post or foosball table for being the sorry sinner that I am.  It’s those bizarre details that are knocking me dead with laughter: the posters of Gizmo and the periodic table of elements in the boinking couple’s room; a Mr. Conehead portrait; Jesus asking an incredulous child the Spanish equivalent of “What do you mean I ain’t got swag?!” (Cómo que no molo?!)

Besides the fun, there’s the biting commentary: the contrast of solving all problems with peace and love, yet damning all gay people to hell; the sanctioning of closed-door parties with altar boys; the condemnation of those who seek abortion; and the willy-nilly cursing of non-Christians with terrible diseases.  Suffice it to say that Zorman’s not just a sophomoric goofball with a video editor; he’s a real critic.

Zorman is not without missteps into a few politically incorrect quagmires, but overall he’s a creative, irreverent young person with a pulse on vagaries of culture and the absurdity of Christianity.  His FAQ (in Spanish) describes:

Do you produce everything yourself or do you have a crew of other people? 
I compile, produce, and sing all by myself.
So…do you mean to say you are some sort of god?
Yes, I am.
That’s awesome!
It is.

God or not, Zorman’s got some fun stuff up his technological sleeve.

About the Author: Becky Friedman

Becky works on the Ask An Atheist production team, frequently appears on episodes, and lends her voice to commercial announcements. She speaks Spanish, works as an educator in the Seattle-Tacoma area, and sits on the Board of Humanists of Washington.

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Oh, and there are English subtitles for those of us unfortunate enough not to have learned Spanish. Not like they’re needed. Anyone knowing three words of Spanish, like me, can deduce most of the meaning.

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