Ask an Atheist with Sam Mulvey

Florida Atheist EllenBeth Wachs Arrested – For Making Sex Noises?!

Florida is a helluva drug

Television has lied to me!  For shame, you seductive commercially minx!  I was led to believe that Florida was some kind of bastion of sexually charged (or meth fueled?) excitement…but evidently it’s a prudish place made for weirdos.  I guess that explains Caruso.

Before we dive in, lets do a quick history on what’s been going on down in Florida for the last…long time.

All of this is going on in Polk County, Florida.  There are actually a few issues that are being addressed here, one having to do with unconstitutional prayer sessions being held at government meetings, and the other regarding sports equipment which was taken by a Sheriff from the local jail and donated to churches in the area.

The scene has since escalated over in Polk county, with both John Kieffer (President of Atheists of Florida) and EllenBeth Wachs being arrested for reasons which are somewhat suspect – Kieffer was arrested for disturbing a prayer before the start of a council meeting and Wachs was previously arrested for impersonating a lawyer, though she is a former attorney and claims she never sought to impersonate one while in Florida, where she is not licensed to practice.

EllenBeth Wachs and John Kieffer

And now Wachs finds herself in the slammer again, only this time they’re holding her.  Given the history of questionable arrests, you’d think they’d be sure to have a solid reason to try to push this godless pussycat behind bars again.  So, what’s the deal?

On Friday, Ligouri is scheduled to go before a judge and ask him to release Wachs.

Wachs is charged with sexual performance in the presence of a child. The State Attorney’s Office in Bartow says it has charged a number of people with that offense, but not for doing what they accuse Wachs of doing.

“No one observed any sexual activity occur. No one saw her engage in any illegal or illicit sexual activity,” Ligouri said.

Wachs is accused of making sexual noises that her neighbor’s 10-year-old son heard. According to investigators, here’s what happened: the boy was playing basketball one morning. Wachs asked him to stop because she was sick and the noise was bothering her. The boy did stop, but a few minutes later, he began shooting hoops with his dad.

Detectives say Wachs began making loud moaning noises of a sexual nature.

When deputies arrived, they arrested her.

WHAT?!?  I’m looking for something to help clarify this better, but I’m not finding it.  Evidently in Florida you can be arrested AND detained for making too sexual sounding of noises in your on home if a minor is close enough to hear you?  That – well, it seems like bullshit.

I’m going to keep watching this group and keep you guys up to date on what happens with them, but man I feel for this woman.  I don’t know the whole story and I might be speaking out of turn given what I do know, but it seems very likely she’s getting screwed with by a local police force and judicial system that doesn’t take kindly to her kind ’round those parts.

And since she’s one of my kind, at least in a small way, I feel like it’s important to make sure she doesn;t have her life ruined or her freedom taken away because she had the audacity to speak out about something she thought was wrong with her government.

I mean, what does she think Florida is?  America?


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So…you can theoretically get arrested for having sex in your own house? I understand if you’re putting out the same decibels as a stereo at full blast with the windows open or something, but that would have to be some herculean love making right there. What a load of shit.


This may sound shocking to most people, but not to anyone who is familiar with Polk County, Florida. It is the butt of many a joke down there. Although there is a smattering of decent people in the area, Polk county is often singled out as the trailer trash mecca of the state. This is no small feat considering they are competing with the rest of Florida for that dubious honor. While most people who visit the state, stick to Orlando or the coastal cities, venturing between the lines (I-75 & I-5) is very reminiscent of the deep south.


Correction to my above post – (I-75 & I-95)
My computer is old & busted


Walk through a hospital, and you will hear moaning and groaning from the people who are sick. If someone is laying there with a migraine or stomach ache, most likely they will be moaning and groaning. When someone is talking loud the sick person will begin to moan louder to help drown out the noise. So if the 10 year old child was still shooting hoops well then, she would begin to moan louder to drown out the sound that was bothering her. I am very disappointed in the child who did not respect her request. I would want to… Read more »


Florida is strange. It took them three tries to make bestiality illegal. Three tries.
They arrested a woman for moaning while being sick? They fought against arresting a man for moaning with his pet goat?
Oh the priorities.


Better turn down the volume during the rerun of When Harry Met Sally.

Had I heard such noises at 10 years old the last thing I would have done would be complain. Of course it sounds like in this situation she was moaning because she was sick.


Yeah, not thinking I am in America anymore.

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