Ask an Atheist with Sam Mulvey

Scripture Says…What?

open bibleThe last episode of Ask an Atheist unveiled a new – and possibly weekly – segment we like to call “Scripture Says…What?”, where we look at the funniest, scariest and just plain weirdest passages in holy texts like the Bible, the Qur’an, the Bhagavad Gita, or even Dianetics.

Our first passage was from the Christian Holy Bible, New International Version:

11 If two men are fighting and the wife of one of them comes to rescue her husband from his assailant, and she reaches out and seizes him by his private parts, 12 you shall cut off her hand. Show her no pity. — Deuteronomy 25:11-12

We’re not just doing this to point and giggle — though, to be perfectly honest, that is part of it. We’re also highlighting how many religious believers treat their holy books like software license agreements, and just click “I Agree” without reading what they’re agreeing to. Books often held up as beacons of truth, wisdom and beauty have scenes in them straight out of a Quentin Tarantino movie.

Let’s face it. There’s a lot of odd stuff in these books, and as often as we can find it, we’ll be sharing it on our show. If you have a passage of a holy text that you think is humorous, bizarre or mind-boggling and want us to read it on the air, please send the passage along with chapter and verse to us by email.

Just click the big red button on our main page and don’t forget to tell your name and home town. We’ll check to make sure it’s real and just might read it on our next episode!

About the Author: Mike Gillis

Mike Gillis is co-creator, and co-host of Ask an Atheist. He hosts the Radio vs. the Martians! and Mike and Pól Save the Universe! podcasts. He also enjoys comic books, the Planet of the Apes, and the band Queen.

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The one that got me hated the most at St. Martin’s was Jeremiah 19:9 9And I will cause them to eat the flesh of their sons and the flesh of their daughters, and they shall eat every one the flesh of his friend in the siege and straitness, wherewith their enemies, and they that seek their lives, shall straiten them. What’s going on here? Well, Jeremiah was one of the prophets and he ran around Jerusalem telling everyone that they are sinners because they allowed other religions into the city (big city + lots of commerce = cultural mixing) and… Read more »

Becky Friedman

MMMMMmmmmm, cannibalism as punishment! Just what atheists like….


Ah. I love the taste of children in the morning.


Babies are the most tender and delicious of cannibal delicacies. God just enjoys fine dining. He’s like the Gordon Ramsey of deities.

Mike from Wellington, NZ

Too many Mikes. Here’s my submission for “Scripture Says…. Whaaaaa?. These are the two scriptures that really started me on the path to non-belief. Book of Mormon 2 Nephi 5:21-23 ” 21 And he had caused the cursing to come upon them, yea, even a sore cursing, because of their iniquity. For behold, they had hardened their hearts against him, that they had become like unto a flint; wherefore, as they were white, and exceedingly fair and delightsome, that they might not be enticing …unto my people the Lord God did cause a skin of blackness to come upon them.… Read more »

Rich Weissmann

One of my favorites is the story of Job, where Satan is able to trick god into torturing his most righteous human.

First of all, if god knows everything, why does he need to test anyone, since he would already know the outcome of the test.

Second, was god really that stupid that satan could so easily trick him?

In my opinion this is in the top 3 most laughable stories in the bible.




Lamentations 4:21
New King James Version (NKJV)

21 Rejoice and be glad, O daughter of Edom,
You who dwell in the land of Uz!
The cup shall also pass over to you
And you shall become drunk and make yourself naked.

Who would have thought the bible & Girls Gone Wild would have so much in common.


Just started re reading the new testament, which I havn’t glanced at since I stopped teaching it over a decade ago. The sermon on the mount used to seem somewhat enlightened…now it just seems like nonsense. I disagree with everything in it… it is the exact opposite of reality as we know it.

[…] is going to put up our latest findson to our blog to make them easier to share with your friends. Scripture Says…What? is a segment where we look at the funniest, scariest and just plain weirdest passages in holy texts […]

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