Ask an Atheist with Sam Mulvey

Thou Shalt Not Replace Us With Your iPhone

Have you ever wanted to repent, but you just didn’t have time to make it to church?  Wait for it…wait for it…there’s an app for that. HEY-OHHHHH!  This might be old news on the interwebs freeway, but it’s new to me and its very existence tickles me.  I’m also pretty amused by the response from the higher ups in the Catholic church:

Yes, the Roman Catholic Church still supports the new app designed to help Catholics make confession. To a point.

The Vatican qualified its support for “Confession: A Roman Catholic App,” on Wednesday, a day after the program’s developer announced it was the first app to have official church sanction.

“It is essential to understand well the sacrament of penitence requires the personal dialogue between the penitent and the confessor and the absolution by the confessor,” Vatican spokesman Federico Lombardi told reporters on Wednesday. “This cannot in any way be substituted by a technology application.”

“One cannot talk in any way about a ‘confession via iPhone,’ ” Lombardi said.

The Catholic church is like a gym teacher.  The pull ups don’t coun’t unless they see you do them.  🙁

…until they can charge a little tithe for it somehow.  A monthly subscription download whose code was blessed by the Pope maybe?

I can see why the church felt they needed to issue this warning.  If people start using this app in place of personal confession, they might stop coming to church as often.  Then maybe not at all.  Without the constant influx of guilt that currently sustains the Pope, he may fully revert to his true form which I’ve heard may be either a monstrous lizard creature or Emperor Palpatine.

Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together – mass hysteria!

But honestly, I can’t see that happening.

I would actually argue that Catholic confession long ago transcended the typical cultural barriers that religion-specific practices are often constricted by to become a pervasive theme in American pop culture – not always to the Pope’s delight of course.

You better believe there’s confessional porn. Giggity.

Big thanks to Jake for the link!

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So if all the catholics phones disappear does that mean the rapture has happened?

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