In this week’s look at the funny, the scary and just plain weird passages in humanity’s holy text, is a special one. It even has a soundtrack! Today we revisit Christianity’s weird sexual hang-ups. This passage this week comes from Ezekiel 23:19-20, New International Version:
Yet she became more and more promiscuous as she recalled the days of her youth, when she was a prostitute in Egypt. 20 There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.
*ahem*
Bet you didn’t know that was in the Bible.
It’s things like this that make me laugh whenever an uptight and repressed Christian group is puffing out their collective chests out and fighting to ban certain books from public libraries and take certain television shows off of the air because of their…ribald or violent nature.
So, whenever I hear some self-righteous brother or sister in Christ lament about how we have to think of the children! The Children! – I can’t help but think about how chock full of sex and violence their own Bibles are, and how they don’t seem to worry about their kids being exposed to men with donkey genitals or genocide or incest or any of the other fun stuff to be found in their morally perfect and inerrant holy book.
And the next time you hear a Christian pontificate about how awful and immoral this book or that television show is, tell them two words: Donkey genitals.
If you have a passage of holy scripture that you find funny, scary or just plain weird, send it our way. Whether it’s from the Bible, the Qur’an, the Bhagavad Gita, the Book of Mormon, or even Dianetics, click on the big, red, shiny button at the top of the page and we may even read it on the show!
