In this week’s look at the funny, the scary and just plain weird passages in humanity’s holy text, we revisit the Bible. This passage this week comes from listener Mike from the Internet, from Deuteronomy 23:1, King James Version:
He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD.
Hooray, it’s our second testicular injury-related passage! Sympathy cringe!
So basically, this: If you’ve lost a ball or had your dick chopped off, even unintentionally. You’re out. Don’t come back to our church. You are no longer Mint In Box, so you ain’t getting into Heaven now.
Beat it, eunuch!
I mean, you’re supposed to slice off that little bit on the end — that flappy skin stuff’s just unsightly and chock full of sin! But what happens if the hand holding the knife slips? What if you fall off your bicycle seat? What if you’re gored by a rhinoceros?
Why do the gods in these books care so much about your genitals?
If you have a passage of holy scripture that you find funny, scary or just plain weird, send it our way. Whether it’s from the Bible, the Qur’an, the Bhagavad Gita, or even Diatnetics, click on the big, red, shiny button at the top of the page and we may even read it on the show!