Ask an Atheist with Sam Mulvey

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Inappropriate Laughter

Sam and Wes ask Luke about how he explained a religious funeral to his 8 year-old son.  They also discuss the late Harlan Ellison, a Japanese doomsday cult, Pruitt’s resignation, the futility of anti-bullet charm necklaces, fish, and trucks.

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Sam’s Open Letter to the Illinois Republicans

To: The Illinois Republican Party
From: Sam
Re: That Guy

Hey!

Look, I haven’t lived in Illinois for a while, but I’ve still got a lot of family and business there and I pay attention. For one thing, I’ve always thought Illinois Republicans were a cut above, if you know what I mean. I don’t mean we agree on much– I’m some dirty socialist– but at least you folks knew how to Party, as it were.

I get not wanting to spend a lot of money in IL-03. You gotta save your resources for winnable battles, and the guy in the seat looks pretty solid even if he can only barely make it out of the primaries. Primaries are like that now. That said, I used to think you guys were better than this. I even defended you in a couple places. Instead, you let him go unopposed and it looks like whatever Arthur Jones is, you got some of it on ya.

And that’s a real shame. I actually do believe you’re not into this guy.

You knew you were going to have to run someone anyway if he made it out of the primary process unopposed. How much would it have hurt the collective you to find the same yob and hand them fifty bucks, a candy bar, and a kitten poster a year ago? Maybe toss them a few off-prime radio spots to build some sort of narrative? You’re going to have to do that anyway, but now you’re going to have to do it with an Actual, Home-Grown Nazi making it out of the primary process. People are going to call you on it, and that might hurt you elsewhere in a general election narrative. Right or not.

I mean, you could have controlled the anti-fascist narrative from the start and hand the Democrats nothing, and that’d be a good place for everyone. I mean, it kind of writes itself: “PUNCH NINE TO SAY NEIN TO NAZIs.” Actually, do you guys still use those ballots? I live in Washington now, and voting by mail is exactly as exciting as waiting for mail to get delivered.

Love,
Sam

P.S.: When you buy your independent candidate the cat poster, I suggest this one. It is cheap and has the right tone: https://www.etsy.com/listing/175222270/cat-astronaut-in-space-suit-print-per

Email

I was wondering: what do you think about keeping fish as pets?

I don’t know much about fish biology. Superficially, I don’t like the idea of it, because they’re being kept in much smaller bodies of water than what they would exist in naturally. But maybe they’re fine with it, I don’t know. I find it easier to relate to mammals
Odd from Norway

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